Not in this life
by Blood Red Raven
Summary: UPDATED ch 4 This is a more serious fic than our previous two. Read and enjoy!
1. Chapter One

Not in this life ****

Disclaimer: We own nothing. The title of this story is a song by Natalie Merchant, no infringement intended, this story is for entertainment purposes only.

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Summary: Nick's upset and takes it out on Sara. 

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AN: This is a more serious fic than our previous two.

****

Authors: bloodredcherry and raven

Oooh, S/N fic. Shiny!

~*~

Sara wanted to break something. 

She just didn't understand what was going on through his head. What the hell was his problem? 

He just wasn't on the same page as she was... Nick was sure, always a stubborn ass but this time something was different- he was acting irate, - irrational- Sara couldn't think of any time in the past that he had been so... 

"Sara." Nick barked. "I thought I told you to take the pictures." 

She turned a glowering look towards him, who the hell had made him head of this case? 

"Yeah Nicky," she spat, "but you also told me to lift all the prints I could from the kitchen. I can only do so much."

She was sick and tired of his blatant condescension. It was all she could do not to storm out of the house and never come back.

"Well it shouldn't take you that long to lift fingerprints. It's not that hard dear."

"Dear?" Sara said indignantly "First of all," she said her face growing hot. "I am your partner so I don't know where you get off being so high and mighty considering that this is a two man job. Secondly you have done absolutely nothing except look for hair fibers. HAIR FIBERS! So why don't you help me instead of ordering me around so we can get out of here."

Sara wrenched the camera out of Nick's hands, and began snapping pictures of the body, the blood smeared against the wall. She stood up; "did I miss anything?" She rose an eyebrow defiantly.

Nick licked his lips, "no."

The tension was stifling in the small humid kitchen. The house didn't have air conditioning and the Nevada heat was pounding down on them, closing them in. Sara wiped her brow and threw the camera back at Nick. 

"If there's nothing else, I'm going home."

With that Sara walked out of the kitchen leaving Nick with the camera hanging in his hands. He felt like an ass, looking around the kitchen he realized that they had nearly completed scouring the crime scene and there wasn't much left to do. He made his way quickly through the house, hoping he hadn't missed her.

The sun had gone down and the street was bustling with people, curious about all the flashing lights and police cruisers in their quiet neighborhood- scanning the crowd he looked for Sara. He spotted her as she slammed her SUV's door shut. 

She sat motionless clutching the steering wheel before she stared her vehicle and sped away.

tbc

Review and let us know what you think, but no flames!


	2. Chapter Two

Not in this life ****

Disclaimer: We own nothing. The title of this story is a song by Natalie Merchant, no infringement intended, this story is for entertainment purposes only.

****

Summary: Nick's upset and takes it out on Sara. 

****

AN: This is a more serious fic than our previous two.

****

Authors: bloodredcherry and raven

Oooh, S/N fic. Shiny!

~*~

Sara cut the engine and bit her lip, she let out an angry growl and got out of the car. Slamming the door behind her, she jammed her key into the lock and let herself into her apartment building. She stomped over to the elevator, but after punching the up button three times she decided to take the stairs.

"Who the hell does he think he is," she felt her eyes burning. Oh great, now she was going to cry.

She wiped her hand across her cheeks, Sara Sidle did not cry--at least if she could help it. And if she was going to cry tonight, she'd do it in her own damn apartment in her bath, *alone*

  
***  
  
Nick tried his best to organize the crime scene packing up as much as he could before making it a night. He made a mental note about telling Grissom that they would need more time to look through the rest of the house tomorrow. 

Pulling his bag and gear up from the ground he pushed past the people still lingering around the house and nodded at the police officer who held bystanders off before ducking underneath the yellow tape and towards where he packed his car.

Pulling away from the house he knew that he had to do something important before returning to the lab.

When Nick made his way to the highway, he turned right instead of left.

He knew he had to apologize, Nick hadn't meant to take his bad day out on her. Sara had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

All he hoped was that she would forgive him. He wouldn't have blamed her if she slammed the door in his face.

Review and let us know what you think, but no flames!


	3. Chapter Three

Not in this life 

****

Disclaimer: We own nothing. The title of this story is a song by Natalie Merchant, no infringement intended, this story is for entertainment purposes only.

****

Summary: Nick's upset and takes it out on Sara. 

****

AN: Sorry for the wait! Thanks to all those who reviewed!

****

Authors: bloodredcherry and raven

~*~

Sara watched the steam rise from the porcelain claw footed bathtub as she kneeled on the ground lighting a few choice candles. She planed on reading a good book and forgetting about Nick and everything that had happened in the past few hours. She still couldn't understand why Nick had been in such a bad mood- it wasn't like him at all...

She hadn't been so tense in her life, usually she could handle people biting her head off, friends and strangers alike... but something about tonight had been different.

Blowing out the match that she had used to light her candles she threw it in the sink and crawled into the steaming bubbly water

Letting out a small sigh she closed her eyes, shutting off the world and all of her problems.

Nick stood outside Sara's apartment building, not sure what he should do. Did he really want to bother her after how he treated her earlier? She still could be mad at him, for all he knew. He could easily make matters worse by harassing her more. 

Shoving his hands into his pockets he looked down at the buttons for each tenant's home intercom and easily found hers. 

"Grow up, man. Just do it"

Taking a deep breath he buzzed her apartment.

"Sa-" He cleared his throat, "Sara..."he licked his lips. "Are you there?" He paused then continued. "Listen Sara—Hello?"

Sara removed her face cloth from its place over her eyes. Where had that voice come from? Before she could move, the voice picked up again.

"Look I'm sorry. I know that you probably don't want to talk to me right now... I know you're home. I saw your car in the parking lot..."

"Nick" she said out loud.

She was slightly shocked... he didn't sound that angry anymore. She heard him give a disgruntled sigh... his voice echoed through her apartment.

"All I really wanted to say is that I'm sorry, all right? I didn't mean to be such a prick earlier, I shouldn't have taken my crap out on you.... and I'll explain it all to Grissom in the morning." There was a sharp pause and a long spurt of static. "Sara? are you there? Please say something"

Jumping quickly out of the tub she grabbed her housecoat and slid half way to her front door.

"Nick, I'm here." There was a moment silence and she thought he was gone. "Nick?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Listen I-"

Sara hit the buzzer and hung up the phone. A few minutes later there was a soft knock at her door. She unlocked her door and opened it, folding her arms.

"Oh," he said noticing Sara was only in her bathrobe, "sorry. I didn't know I was interrupting-"

"It's fine." Sara replied.

Nick licked his lips and looked around Sara's small apartment.

Why was he just standing there? Sara knew he meant to apologize, but she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it.

Why was she looking at him like that? Nick felt himself bristle-then he remembered why he was here and he took a deep breath.

"Listen," Sara said finally. "I'm tired." 

Nick's hopeful face dropped. So that's the way it was going to be, she let him make an ass of himself and she wouldn't even accept his apology.

"I said I was sorry."

"I know you did." Sara countered.

"So that's all you have to say, 'I'm tired'?"

"Well I am tired. I'm sorry Nick if I just worked a double and need a little sleep."

Nick blinked, "okay then, sorry I ever came by."

Sara grabbed his arm, "what the hell is your problem?"

"It's not important."

"If it affects you on the job, it is important. I've never seen you like this before."

Nick looked down at Sara's hand grasping his arm, then up at her face. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was pulled back into a loose bun. 

He didn't know why he did it...he didn't even think, before he could put together a coherent thought he kicked the door closed grabbed Sara's face in his hands and kissed her. 

She stumbled back, and when she hit the wall her elbow took the first contact.

"Shit," she cursed.

"Oh Jesus," Nick took his hand from her face and took her elbow, he turned it over and pushed up the soft fabric of her robe.

Sara could barely breath. Her mind was screaming—this is wrong! This is _so_ wrong! But if it was so wrong then why did it feel like she was on fire. 

"Sorry." Nick brushed his fingers over Sara's already bruising elbow.

Sara choked on her reply, "that's okay," she whispered. She hadn't meant for her voice to sound so thick. Nick looked up at her with a smirk and she felt her face flush.

Nick had resolved kissing Sara was exactly the wrong thing to do until he looked up into her face—her eyes that met his gaze, her lips were parted slightly. Her hair had fallen from it's silver clip into her eyes.

"That'll need some ice," Nick said breaking the silence.

Sara blinked a few times before finding her voice, "oh, yeah." Sara cleared her throat and Nick let go of her arm, he made his way into her family room as she made her way to the kitchen. She opened her refrigerator and pulled out a package of peas, she winced when she brought it against her elbow.

She walked across her apartment and sat on her couch, a safe distance away from Nick. She wanted to know what had happened to make him so angry but she didn't want to push, she knew with Nick it wouldn't make a difference. He wasn't going to tell her until he was ready. 

They sat in awkward silence, the only sound was the frozen peas crunching as Sara shifted them more comfortably.

Pretending nothing had happened wouldn't help, she'd tried that one in highschool and all it had gotten her was one less friend. 

She took a deep breath and forced herself to look over at him, he was staring intently at her coffee table.

She took a deep breath.

"Listen—" They said in unison.

"I was just—"

"I didn't think I'm sorry—"

Finally they both sighed and sat in the silence, soft lyrical music could be heard from Sara's tiny bathroom.

"I interrupted you," Nick went to stand.

"I said it was fine."

"No, go back to your bath," he stood.

"Nick…" Sara began.

"Listen, things got out of hand, it happens."

She looked into his face, "right." She replied.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," Sara replied and then he was gone. She stood and walked to the front door, she locked it and turned. 

All of a sudden the dimly lit bathroom and steaming bath didn't look so appealing, all Sara wanted to do was crawl into bed and go to sleep. She yanked the plug out of the drain and hit the lights.

TBC…may be a while for the next part but stay tuned!

Review and let us know what you think, but no flames!


	4. Chapter Four

Not in this life 

****

Disclaimer: We own nothing. The title of this story is a song by Natalie Merchant, no infringement intended, this story is for entertainment purposes only.

****

Summary: Nick's upset and takes it out on Sara. 

****

AN: Sorry for the wait! Thanks to all those who reviewed!

****

Authors: bloodredcherry and raven

Sara walked in through the main door of the crime lab. She clutched her keys tightly in her right hand. She'd spent most of the night before tossing and turning, it was well after a reasonable hour before she finally fell asleep.

Nick… she was at a loss for words. Being a friend she was worried, Nick had been so abrupt so _angry_.

She sighed and brushed her hair back from her face. She was so unsure about how the day would progress. Sara took a deep breath and forced herself forward, entering Grissom's office where Nick was sitting with his back to the door. 

Grissom was engrossed in the paper work that littered his desk, tapping his pencil against his chin in concentration, he didn't notice her.

Standing still in the doorway she gripped her keys even tighter, their jagged edges biting into her palm.   


"Gris?" Nick stiffened and Sara sighed dejectedly. She slowly moved closer to the desk—nearer to Nick. "Grissom," Sara repeated, more loudly this time.

Grissom started and looked up at Sara.

Grissom slowly put down the pencil and leaned back in his chair. "Sit down Sara." he motioned to the chair beside Nick. Slowly sitting down she looked at her feet. 

"I'm sorry I'm late." She glanced over at Nick, it was at that moment that she wished that she was miles away from Nevada... away from him

"It won't happen again, I had a long night"

A small smile came to his face, it was an understanding smile—he really wasn't that mad. Sara felt relief wash over her, that was the last thing she needed.

"That's all right. We both just got here anyways."

Looking up, she directed her attention forward. It took all her will power to ignore the tension that sparked and echoed around the small room.

Her eyes remained to the left of Gris face, Sara wanted to evaporate... she felt like one of the dead bugs pinned against its will on Grissom's office wall.

It didn't help that Nick was doing his best to act like she wasn't there. There was no explanation for the night before. She needed... wanted some comfort, something more than silence.

Nick was being an ass and she wanted nothing more than to tell him that.

"I got your call," she said slowly. "I have an idea why you wanted to see us."

Gris raised an eye brow, "you do?"

The tension mounted, the air grew stale.

"I'm sorry for leaving the crime scene without checking back, something... "

"Sara," Nick said, "wasn't feeling very well" he ran a hand through his hair. Nicks eyes were fixated on Grissom's name plate

Her face flushed and she turned towards the man sitting next to her.

Silent with disbelief she wanted to scream, she wanted to refute everything, she was as much to blame as he was... why was he covering her ass?

Grissom sat watching the exchange he paused before speaking.

"I want both of you to take a few days off. Warrick and Cath will take over from here." 

Sara sat up straight, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

He looked at her pointedly

"Is there any reason for this?"

"Take it as a grain of salt Sara, don't question a good thing."

Nick crumbled in his chair, rubbing his hands over his face.

The meeting was dismissed, they both left and before Nick had a chance to run away Sara grabbed Nick's arm. 

They stood face to face in the busy hallway.

Sara prayed for the courage to say what she wanted to say, she knew this was exactly the most tactful place to have this conversation but she didn't want to loose her never, _couldn't_ loose her nerve.

She felt like she was eighteen again, "What happened last night, Nick?"

"I don't know"  
  
"Of course you know," Sara took a deep breath and lowered her voice. "You came to my apartment last night and we kissed. It came out of no where—"

"So it was a mistake?"

"I didn't say that" People were staring, they quickly looked away when Sara glared at them.

"Then what did you mean?"

"Nick... this is the wrong place to be talking about this."

"What's wrong with now?"

"We're. At. Work, people are watching" she said the first words slowly emphasizing them.

"Fine, enjoy your holiday Sara, I've gotta go."  
"Nick," It wasn't supposed to be like this, "wait—"

"Bye" Clenching his teeth he turned on his heels and left.

Tears burned her eyes and she blinked. She was so frustrated... what did she do wrong? What pained him enough to cause him to treat her like shit?  


Giving a defeated sigh she walked for the front door ignoring the stares that followed her.  


Review (muchly) and let us know what you think, but no flames please!!


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